To Break a Heart

Two months ago today, I had to make one of the bravest, selfless, yet heartbreaking decisions of my life. I had to help Toby with her journey to The Rainbow Bridge, which ultimately meant that I had to allow her to go on ahead...without me. There is something so incredibly beautiful yet fiercely painful in knowing this will be the last time for so many special things. The last time, I dig my fingers deep into your scruff around your neck and pull your darling face into mine. This will be the last time, I lay my head gently on you, stroke you and tell you that I love you, while feeling your body rise and fall with your breath. This will be the last time that I hold your soft ear and whisper into it how much I love you, for the billionth time. The last time that I will look into your soulful eyes and have them return the look for absolute love and adoration. It is in this moment that you vow to allow your heart to be broken, all in the name of love. For my friends and family that have journeyed down this dark path with your own beloved pets at one time or another... I respect you. I respect you for doing what was right and staying with your pet until the moment they took their last breath. You, being there to comfort them as they moved on, is what they very much needed. After years of love and devotion to you, it is what your pet deserved. For those of you that have not gone down this road with your beloved pet but know that the time is near, I send you the courage to do what is right and the love that you will need to get through it. It is a hurt, a raw hurt that is like no other and the pain the accompanies it, is indescribable. The immeasurable love that you were given and the unbreakable bond you shared with your pet throughout the years, is what makes it all worth it. Not a day has gone by where I haven't cried over the loss of Toby. Not one. I usually cry multiple times a day....a picture of her, finding a toy she enjoyed playing with, visiting videos of her on my phone, anything can trigger it. I recently actually had someone ask me, "Is it worth it? Would you do it all again?" The answer, "YES! I would, no hesitation or reservations. I would accept this heartache again, at the chance of journeying with sweet Toby again." Time is but a gift. Love on your babies today, as tomorrow is never promised.